Weekly Weigh In – Self Love

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I’ve been working on normal eating for over six years now.  I started the journey hoping to uncover the reasons behind my urgency to eat and I have gotten that and so much more.  I guess that’s the way it is with therapy, you start with vanity and in the end, find yourself.

Lately I’ve been struggling, though, and feeling anxious about it.  I thought it might help for me to go back through my notes and “relearn” from the beginning.  Remind myself where I started and all the things I learned along the way.  I feel like going back through will really help solidify the lessons and hopefully build my strength for the next leg of this journey, whatever that might look like.

One ah-ha moment I had early on was learning that listening to my body is a form of self love.  When I eat when I’m not really hungry and stuff myself full of food I am ignoring the signals of my body and cutting into my self worth.  I don’t feel proud when I do this, I feel shame.  So in listening to my hunger signals, as hard as that can be sometimes, and honoring them, I am showing myself love.

When I read this and really let it sink in, it felt so right.  It has kept me from overeating SO many times and also pushed me to wait just a little longer to eat until I truly felt hungry.  Every single time I do this, I feel like it builds my confidence in myself and my ability to make actual change in my life.  It was revolutionary, really.

Each week I will pull something out of the old journal and share it here.  I believe it will help me get out of this big rut!

What have you learned that really makes a big difference to you?

xoxo

My 50th Post – Wednesday Weigh In and Nerdist Wisdom

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It’s my 50th post y’all!

I haven’t been active for the past two weeks and I’m happy to be getting back to the blog.  I was feeling pretty blue and when I started writing again it really picked up my spirits.

I’m a big fan of Chris Hardwick.  He is the host of Nerdist and @Midnight and what I like best about him is how open he is about his emotional growth.  It makes me happy to hear him talk about his struggles in a light-hearted and funny way.  You can really hear the pain he was in and the hard work he’s done to get where he is today.

I was reading his book recently and he has a section on how important it is to have laser-like focus when reaching for your goals.  It got me thinking about my own lack of focus sometimes.  I get easily distracted by so many things because they are easier to do than work toward my goals.  Then frustration follows and I realize that my attention is just in too many different places and try to bring myself back to the major goals.

In some ways I feel like, well maybe that’s just how my journey is supposed to go.  But then I saw this:

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This one really made me think.  I battle a little bit with the word “goals” but I think the point is there.  All of these distractions exist and it’s so easy to fall into this trap of surfing the web or looking at all the various social media outlets rather than focusing my attention on something that is harder than that, even though it will ultimately bring me more happiness and satisfaction.

Which brings me back to writing this blog and honoring a promise to myself to keep coming back every day to share my thoughts here.

As far as my Wednesday Weigh-In updates, here they are:

  • I haven’t been listening to my body nearly as much as I want to and the food I’ve been putting in is hit or miss.  I want to get back on track here.
  • We got an elliptical and I’ve worked out twice!  Amazing how out of shape I am right now.  I am also gearing back up with stair climbing and wearing the fitbit.  My two week break pretty much extended to almost everything.
  • I haven’t been doing my EFT but I am getting back to that as well.
  • My weight has been steady, maybe up a tiny bit.
  • I got my health assessment done at work and everything was good except for my weight and BMI.  Working out, eating well, taking care of myself, eating more healthy fats, those are on my plan of action.

I’m happy to be back!

Wednesday Weigh In – Ebb and Flow

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I have noticed that life goes through an ebb and flow.  What matters to me today, won’t necessarily matter as much to me in a year.  What seems desperate today, won’t be a big deal tomorrow.  Sometimes that’s good, my worries lessen with time.  Sometimes not so good because my desire to backpack around Europe, once so exciting, now just seems like work.

The moment must be seized when the desire is there.  Otherwise, the desire fades without the experience to fulfill it.

I have a few big regrets that have now come to this fate. Not applying to be part of Sister Cities, not applying to more colleges farther away, not backpacking around Europe in college, not doing an interesting internship when I was young, not traveling more or going back for a masters before having kids.

There were many reasons I didn’t do the things listed above, there is no denying that.  But now that I know better, I would like to do better.  I’d like to seize my moments.  Carpe Diem, right?

Have you found the same thing in your life?  I’d love to hear.

Needless to say, I have been thinking about this a lot in the last few days since the news about Robin Williams has come out.  I really just can’t stop thinking about him.  I know there is something we are all going to learn from this tragedy.

The good news is that sometimes the desire is just in hibernation and, after a period of years, comes back in full force.  I am starting to see that happen to me.  I can feel the desires to travel and find meaningful, fun, work!  If nothing else then to show my kids that life is fun and worth living and a big adventure!

Anyway, that’s really all.  Just a reminder to myself that we want to strike while the moment is hot, get while the gettin’ is good.  I have my bucket list almost complete and will post on a new page so I can revisit every month and give myself a kick in the behind if I get off track.

FOOD AND STUFF

As far as my weight loss, I have maintained!  I was actually happy and proud when I learned that.  I have been wearing my fitbit and trying to stay active every day.

One big development is that an elliptical machine has been ordered.  I have been anxious to start exercising again and just can’t seem to find the time during the day.  Between sleeping and working and taking care of kids, I haven’t been able to squish it in.  With the elliptical I can make it part of my nighttime routine.

More to follow!

PS I know I am posting my Wednesday Weigh In on Thursday but sometimes that’s how it goes 🙂

Wednesday Weigh In – Deserving Self Care

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So it turns out that good self-care includes eating food that nourishes my body and exercising.  I don’t know why I never really put those things into the self-care category.  It was more “what I need to do to lose weight”.

Why, then, is it so hard to do?  Continue reading

Do you “should” yourself?

I read one of Karen’s latest blog posts about how we move forward.  I tend to push myself forward (you should do this, you shouldn’t do that, you need to, etc.) and I can feel the negative reaction in my body to hearing those words.

I do much better when I see something or think of something I want, and I go forward with excitement and eagerness.

There is a clear difference!

I have been making an effort to eliminate the “should” and “need to” attitude, I even try not to use those words as she suggested.  I try to replace them with “I want to” and “I’d like to”.  It really does release the urgency and opens my mind.

It pulls me forward…

I am drawn to many things, I have gotten very curious, and I get bogged down when I start to “should” myself.

Do you “should” yourself?  Do you think it will be hard to eliminate that word from your vocabulary?

Wednesday Weigh In – How to process emotion?

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One of the biggest hurdles that must be overcome on the way to normal eating is letting myself feel whatever emotion comes up.  It sounds so simple, and it is, but it’s not easy.

What happens is I have the desire to eat when I’m not hungry.  That’s my first clue that some underlying emotion is trying to tell me something.  I try to tune in but either (a) I don’t know what emotion I am feeling or (b) I DO know what emotion I am feeling but I have trouble processing it, letting it flow over me until it diminishes.

SO, what I’ve discovered this week is something called EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique.

What I like about it is that I have a lot of mixed emotions.  For example, I want to exercise more but my actions don’t match my desire, which means I have mixed feelings about it!  This confuses me (to add to the mix).  So I imagine EFT would be really helpful to let both sides of the argument come out and eventually one of them is going to win.

It’s a pretty simple technique although requires some quiet time alone.  I can see how it will safely allow me to explore my emotions.

Many times I feel a lot of fear around expressing and feeling the emotion.  This seems like it will safely help me explore without a lot of risk.  In the meantime, I’ll come to understand my emotions more and release them!  I can see how over time the feelings will diminish, which is the whole point.

I’ve done a lot of therapy which has done amazing things for me, and I will probably do more, but I am intrigued by EFT.  There seems to be a lot of scientific evidence on the success of this technique.  I’m actually kind of excited to give it a try.  Maybe it’s just the thing I’m looking for.

I am not quite ready to share the site I found with the entire blogosphere but if you email me directly I will be happy to share.  Otherwise I think you can google it and find plenty of information.

How’s my week going?

This has been an up and down week for me.  Some wins include:

  • Consciously thinking about how much I am eating, trying to eat to satisfaction
  • Beefing up my exercise and movement, thank you fitbit!  Note on this, I am sad to say that when I don’t wear the fitbit I don’t force myself to move as much…which means it’s working?  Gotta think more on that later.
  • Reading a lot of really helpful material

Some areas to improve:

  • Didn’t make the healthiest choices
  • Still not getting my veggies in at every meal
  • Want to drink more water!
  • That’s all for this week’s Wed Weigh In!

PS I have been working on my bucket list and will post very soon!

Picture from amybscher.com however I am not familiar with the site.  I just liked the cute picture.

Wise words about living healthy

A quote from Karen Koenig in her blog post: What Does BMI Really Tell Us?

“What we can do to move toward health and longevity you already know how to do: eat mostly nutritious foods, drink plenty of water, get enough sleep, reduce stress and improve at handling it, stop smoking, don’t overdo it with alcohol, have strong connections with others, and go out there and find pleasure and meaning in life. When you’re doing all of the above, you don’t need to know your weight or BMI because you’re living the most healthy lifestyle you possibly can.”

I want to read this every single day.