Life is not a montage

I feel like I’m waiting for the musical interlude and for my life to magically change before my eyes.  That’s the way movies tell me that change happens.  But, of course, in my mind I know that is not true.  Wha?!?!?!

In face, change is PAINFULLY slow sometimes.  Other times, I mull over something for a long time and then change feels really fast but, in fact, I have to account for the mulling time.  I actually love it when this happens, though, because it usually feels really right.

I have to make my own montage.  It’s not going to be nearly as sexy or quick as what I’d see in a movie but I will know the change is happening.  That is what creates the calm inside of me.

My first big goal is to become a minimalist.  I have been reading this and this and I have been observing my life and realizing that I am never going to feel like I have space in my life for the truly important things until I clear out the extra clutter in my house.

I have two kids, I work full time, my husband works full time, and we spend our entire weekend cleaning and purchasing stuff for the next week.  At night we cook and clean and sleep.  We might even squeeze in something extra if all goes well with bedtime.

I don’t want to end up watching my kids move out of the house and realize I wasted all that time with them trying to simply keep up with everyday life.  I’d love a part-time job and I will be working toward that.  In the meantime, I will be clearing out the clutter.  I’m hopeful that some of the things I learn in these books and from observing my kids and my life will click for me.  My hope is that it begins to affect other areas of my life and help me feel more calm.

We shall see…

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Do you “should” yourself?

I read one of Karen’s latest blog posts about how we move forward.  I tend to push myself forward (you should do this, you shouldn’t do that, you need to, etc.) and I can feel the negative reaction in my body to hearing those words.

I do much better when I see something or think of something I want, and I go forward with excitement and eagerness.

There is a clear difference!

I have been making an effort to eliminate the “should” and “need to” attitude, I even try not to use those words as she suggested.  I try to replace them with “I want to” and “I’d like to”.  It really does release the urgency and opens my mind.

It pulls me forward…

I am drawn to many things, I have gotten very curious, and I get bogged down when I start to “should” myself.

Do you “should” yourself?  Do you think it will be hard to eliminate that word from your vocabulary?