A venti chai latte, three pumps nonfat, and a slice of pumpkin loaf.  That is my morning treat after dropping the baby off if I’ve had a particularly bad night or morning.  The problem with that is every night and morning feels difficult (ah the joys of two children).  So I have the urge to stop at Starbucks every day.  So then my “treat” turns into my routine.  I looked at my bank account the other day and every single purchase that wasn’t a bill was in a coffee shop of some kind or another.  It becomes my routine, no longer feels like a treat, and then I have to go looking for another way to feel like I’m getting a treat.

SO, I found a way to at least offset the cost.  I made my own pumpkin bread and bought a box of the liquid chai from Starbucks so I can make my own.

After a few days, I realized the “treat” is not necessarily the drink and pastry, it’s the luxury of stopping in Starbucks, smelling the coffee, making my order, paying for it, waiting along with all the other hipsters and carrying my sweating logoed cup around with me all morning.  The treat is being taken care of by someone else, in a very small way.  This will not be fixed by baking a loaf of pumpkin bread, I suppose!

But identifying the problem is half the battle, right?  I’ll take this as a sign that I need to take care of myself a little more.  It seems there are so few hours in the day and so much of it is spent tending to other little beings besides myself.  What always hangs me up is, what exactly does taking care of myself look like?

BTW I just love Drew.  Here’s an interesting article about her and her mother.